My patient is a powerful and charismatic person who was terribly abused as a child. We journeyed in his mind to the little boy who was beaten for squirming in his chair and left alone in the back room of the church. The boy in his mind embodied him today and wailed, "Why do they beat me?!" to himself, to his parents, to God, and to the reverberating aether. The depth of this access swelled my heart with tears.

I told him to ask that little boy if he could hold him. He hugged him, rocked him and whispered loving words to him: "You did nothing wrong. It's not right what they did to you. You didn't deserve it. It's over. I love you. Come with me. You can grow up now." He wept and wept, and rocked and rocked, until the pain was slowly held and slowly healed.

As he gained access to this wounded child, he also began to see other parts of himself that he had developed to protect himself: a smart man, a fierce man, a charming man. They each had different names based on when they emerged in his life and reflected the actual variations of the names he went by at that time--names like Little Timmy, Tom, Alexander (his strong middle name), and Thomas.

We began to appreciate that each of these self-parts was vital for his survival ,and he began to embrace them all. His smart part helped him gain recognition and praise. His fierce part helped him become powerful, realize his dreams and prevent others from taking advantage of him. His charming part made sure that others liked him and would follow him. He realized that he used to think that this last part was his true self, but he slowly realized that this part was the most duplicitous of them all, for it would never show vulnerability, only obsequious catering and manipulative insincerity.

Awake to and accepting of all of these parts, he began starting his day by gathering his self-parts together for a pep talk. "Timmy (who had now grown to be a strapping young man), keep me joyful and playful. Tom, I need you to figure things out. Alexander, watch my back and get me through the tough times. And, Thomas, take care of other people with true heart. Thank you all for being with me. Stand beside me but not in front of me. I love you all. Now, let's go!"

May 24, 2017

Understanding Trauma: Learning Brain vs Survival Brain

This video reframes a trauma perspective in terms of learning brain versus survival brain as a way to make it easier for teachers to talk about trauma with students.

Jun 26, 2017

"Every Opportunity" Deconstructed

Every Opportunity is a wonderful video for schools to see the difference between a school in crisis based survival mode versus one that puts student into learning brain through the foundation of relationships and teaching social emotional and neurodevelopmental tasks. I show the video and break down what I think about it.

Mar 30, 2017

Secure Attachment

This is a little tutorial on secure attachment that i made with my dear from Thomas Moon. We're going to do a series of training videos to share what I've learned as much as I can.